Not really sure what to write today. I’m on the bus again and someone has REALLY smelly feet.

I walked to the bus stop spoiling for a fight. Just hoping someone would give me an excuse to start a fight. Luckily or unluckily noboby even gave me a glance..

I have some possible solutions in my mind as to how to get out of this hole, but as I’m not in the best state of mind I don’t know if I’m thinking rationally.

I do think I need to grt all this anger out somehow in order to move on. Getting that done will inevitably lead to lots of crying. Crying meaning I can’t really interact with people without doing it. But it needs to be done.

I also think I need to reduce my medication. On the dosage I’m on, I’m just numb. I can’t feel enough to move on. I can’t feel happy or joyous at the sunshine and I can’t seem to feel enough to let myself just cry.

I’m giving up at work. I don’t seem to have any fight left in me to keep the business alive. I have a meeting today that I should be using to fight for the right to develop a new service. But I just don’t care. If this particular someone else gets the service, we might as well close our doors as it will naturally lead to them taking over our current service. And I don’t have the energy to fight. I have no idea what’s going on with the company and I’m totally demotivated.

*sigh* nearly at my stop now so this is a good place to end.

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2 Responses to Thoughts

  1. Sarsparilla says:

    Trying a comment to see if it sticks, sorry! (Boxing is great for externalising anger in a safe environment)

  2. I am sorry things aren’t going well for you at the moment. I wish I had some answers for you, but sadly I don’t.

    I hope life improves for you soon.

    Take care xx

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