Hallo there again. I always seem to leave it so long to write a post that by the time I do, I’ve forgotten all the interesting stuff that’s happened in the meantime!

I went for an interview and didn’t get the job. I’m a little bothered that I wasn’t chosen, but I wasn’t very excited about the job once I got there. It was a new post and they hadn’t really sorted out what the job description was going to be. They couldn’t even tell me what this role would actually be responsible for. How can you do a job if you don’t know what you’re responsible for, so you can’t tell if you’re doing a good job? Anyhoo. They said they would call the successful candidate that evening. They didn’t call, so I’m to assume I was unsuccessful. But never mind. Obviously not meant to be!

I’m busy at work – I’m finishing off training new agents this weekend. I can’t wait until it’s over. I get SO nervous before each training session. I do like doing it, but I worry so much about it I get totally stressed and want to scream for a whole week beforehand. BUT, after this weekend, I’ll be busy doing the stuff I LIKE doing. Visiting clients, introducing them to agents, setting up workplans. That’s the kind of thing I LOVE about my job, and I’m going to have to really blitz my waiting list over the next few weeks to get things up to date. Then I’ll have to catch up with my current agents. Busy busy busy..

I’ve been thinking a *lot* lately. Trying to work out what it is I want to do. I LIKE my job. I do. I just hate the workload and the unsocial hours. I want to get home at 6pm and have enough energy to go out and *do* something. Volunteer for something. Join a band, a choir, a chess club. Go for a walk, a cycle or to visit friends. I don’t want my whole world to be work work work. Life’s just too short. None of us knows what’s going to happen tomorrow and I’d rather not regret things because I worked too much.

I’d be happy to seek out an easier job, but I can’t afford a drop in pay at the moment as I’m still paying off debts. And I can’t actually decide what it is I’d like to do job wise. Mrs Pillows will be starting her new job in Slough in the first week of June, so from then, we’ll be living apart until I can get a job. That’s going to be tough to live with :( Combined with this is the fact that I still need at least one day every weekend just for sleep. If I don’t get it, I can’t last a whole week at work. I know, it’s not normal, and I need to sort it out. I’ve been looking on the internet about dietary stuff and am thinking of trying a wheat-free diet for a while to see if that helps. I’m working from home today as I have a bad stomach AGAIN. Whether it’s stress, hormonal or IBS I don’t know. I just know that it hurts. And I’m fed up of it :( Anything that stops me needing to sleep so much has got to be good.

It’s not like I haven’t tried to identify my triggers. I know I can’t eat:

    Fruit (any fruit)
    Nuts and seeds
    Pickled onion space raiders
    Pickled onion monster munch
    Drinks with caffeine in them

Bit of a bugger really. I used to love apples and satsumas / clementines. I miss poppy seeded and granary bread, sesame seeds and peanuts. I LOVE parsnips too and pickled onion space raiders.

I suppose I’m just a bit fed up today. The whole ‘dodgy tummy’ thing and the amount of work I have to do. I feel like a bit of a fraud, a failure. Although I’m working today, it feels like I’m skiving and letting people down. I know I’m too hard on myself sometimes, but I just don’t know how to get over that. I wasted a whole weekend sleeping, snoozing and watching tv. I had NO energy to do anything and just wanted to sleep the whole weekend away.

And now I’m sick of hearing myself moaning about it!! Grrrrrr!

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One Response to Gurgling

  1. Oscars staff says:

    Ask you dr to test you for helicobacter pylori and also for gastro-oesophaegal reflux disorder. Failing that ask for a prescription for lanzaprazole- used to have the same issues myself but a month on these sorted me (and kept a few for taking after curry!)

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