Decisions Decisions

Is it better to stay where you are, with what you know and work at something that’s not quite right, but not awful either. Or, to try something new. To go somewhere you will get close to a dream, but which could see everything crumble if it doesn’t work out?

I’m torn. K and I are thinking of moving away from the seaside town we are in to a place close to London. We have the opportunity to rent a 3 bedroomed house for less than we’re paying now for a 2 bedroomed flat. It’s close to London (30mins by train) and to 4 major motorways. It has a garden and a driveway. We can decorate and do what we want to the house.

I have always had a dream of living close to London. Close enough to be able to go into the City for an evening out. To go to the Theatre or to a concert and then get the train back home. A short ‘hop’ into London. I’ve never done that. I’ve never been able to afford to do that. And here is an opportunity, placed right in front of me.

Of course, it would mean looking for another job. I could look for work in London as well as the town we would be moving to. But would I be likely to get a job with my sickness record? (even though it’s a declared disability) And in today’s economic climate, is that just one risk too far? My current job is guaranteed until the end of March next year, and possibly for a year after that. (verbally agreed – nothing signed). Is it really wise to give that up for a new job that I might be rubbish at and be fired from! I have looked at other jobs in the company I currently work for, but there’s nothing in London or the town we’re looking at. I’ll keep looking for jobs in the (national) company I work for. That would be a good solution. But I don’t know.

I’m going to the town to see the house this weekend. I’ll see what it’s like, what the area is like how it feels. K likes it. She has family around there and knows her way around. And even though she has always sworn that she would never go back there, she is now quite excited by the prospect.

There are lots of other positives about the area, but the biggest drawback is the risk. If it doesn’t work out – if we don’t like the area or we have to move out of the house for some reason, then we’re screwed. Renting in the private sector would cost 3 times as much as we have been offered the house for. We simply could not afford to live there any other way. We would have to move away to somewhere cheaper.

But should I always think of the downsides to everything? Or is this sensible? Am I overthinking things?

Some days I like my current job and some days I don’t. I like the feeling of being someone that people ask for advice / information. I like being a ‘holder of knowledge’ and an ‘almost expert’ in something. I’d have to start over again in a new job. And I don’t even know what I want to do.

So I’m a little distracted at the moment. I haven’t told anyone at work, but everything that happens there now seems to persuade me one way or the other in my decision. Everything now seems to be related to whether I’m going to move or not.

Decisions, decisions…

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