I’m stressed out. So much to think about. “Catastrophic thinking”, K calls it. Like a snowball effect. Thinking one thing is going to go wrong, which will then make other things go wrong.

But a first piece of good news – my car passed an M.O.T.!!!!! No work needed! I’m in shock.. When the mechanic called to tell me, I screamed and danced around the living room I was so relieved. I had been expecting a bill for hundreds of pounds. But no! It passed! I’m still in shock, and still exhausted from all the worrying about how much it was going to cost!

Next stress is a training session I’m running with new agents. The first 2 days training aren’t so bad, as I do that with another trainer. But the weekend just gone I was all by myself. Luckily, these are all new agents, so they don’t really have anything to compare the training with. From the next training session, I’ll be working with some old agents too. Some extra training and some retraining.

The next session is one I haven’t delivered before, so I’m extremely nervous. I don’t have any timings, I haven’t been through the exercises and familiarized myself with the material. I don’t know where potential ‘hazards’ might be. (‘Hazards’ being tricky questions regarding policy and ‘what if’ questions. I had a few of those this weekend, but I think I scraped through..). I don’t feel I know enough about the subject to deliver the next bit of training. But I have a week and a half to prepare. Let’s hope it’s enough!

I’m also stressed about moving. We have (finally) 2 companies coming round to give a quote tomorrow, then one coming on Friday. After that, we’ll know how much it’s going to cost. And once all that’s booked, it’s another stress off our heads.

I arranged to transfer our telephone line and our internet connection today. So hopefully that will run smoothly.

Then there’s the worries about my job. The nature of the job means that it’s year-on-year. I never really know how much longer I have after March. Luckily this year, I know I have until around July, so it’s not too urgent yet. But if I don’t get my hands on the money floating around at this time of the financial year, then I’m screwed. I’ve been applying for money, so we’ll just have to see what comes of that.

So all in all, I’m a moody, over-sensitive, snappy cow to live with at the moment. Poor K is putting up with me – just. She is a saint. Really.

I went to the Doctors this morning. The most surreal experience I think I’ve had. I saw a locum as my Dr was fully booked (by 8.30 in the morning). I went in because I wanted 3 referrals. I came out with 3 referrals, and a blood test to do. No questions asked really. She just dictated letters into her dictophone, wrote on the computer and agreed to refer me! (yes, while reminding me every 5 minutes of my b.m.i. and ‘diseases’.) She even offered me some weight loss pills! The woman had spent 2 minutes with me, had very obviously NOT read any of my notes before I went in, told me she didn’t actually know what effect one of my medications had on me and then decided to offer me more pills! Though I *did* kick myself for not accepting them once I’d walked out of the room. She offered to see me again so that she could ‘help me’. I politely declined and said that I would rather see my own Doctor, as she had prescribed my medication for me and actually knew the effect on my mixture of ‘diseases’.

A very strange Doctor. I think I’m lucky to get out of that one alive..

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