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Dear X, And what would I want to tell you? I suppose I’d want to tell you that I’m lonely, that I’m depressed, that I’m anxious and that I’m really not well at the moment. Depression has taken hold of me and I’m struggling to keep myself connected to the real world. Part [...]   Not really sure what to write today. I’m on the bus again and someone has REALLY smelly feet. I walked to the bus stop spoiling for a fight. Just hoping someone would give me an excuse to start a fight. Luckily or unluckily noboby even gave me a glance.. I have some [...] My blog is more anonymous than Twitter or Facebook so I thought I’d post here. I need to get it out. This is a bad one. It had lasted overall week already and it’s getting worse. I hate myself. I despise what I have become. A fat, lazy, pathetic mess. Every time I [...] It has been a strange weekend. It started off quite well. I went to the Albert Hall to see Tim Minchin in concert. We got the tickets for a bargain price and his show was excellent. We didn’t get back until well after midnight, which is rare in our lives, so it felt like [...] I am sitting here on the sofa in my dressing gown. I have not been outside since Saturday. I am not coping I went to the Doctor on Friday. I had seen the signs. I had noticed the lack of energy, the need to sleep, the complete lack of engagement and interest in [...] I worry that this blog is just going to become a big whinge-fest. Every time I want to blog, it’s when I need to work through something in my head. And that’s usually depressing stuff. But then, sometimes just ‘getting it out there’ helps. I have the blog, so why not use it? [...] Today was confusing. I felt really down for no particular reason. The day didn’t start off too well. I was meant to get to the bicycle shop for 9am to get my bike in for a half price service. I hit the snooze button too often and so didn’t get there until just [...] Eyelets – opportunities. Things which move my life forward. Achievements. Things that make me smile. I see myself climbing through a series of eyelets, achieving with each one I conquer. Hooks – the things that hold me back. Emotional hooks. Psychological hooks. Things that, all of a sudden, can take me back to [...] I got angry again today. And I dealt with it again by over eating. I am starting a new diet again tomorrow (Monday) and so I decided to spend today eating crap. And I want to document how I’m feeling so that I know in the future that I don’t want to go back [...] Well, yesterday was a long long day. I had planned to cycle home at 6pm, shower, get into my pyjamas and go to bed early. Didn’t happen that way though.. One of my colleagues received a telephone call in the afternoon saying that her gran was dying and that if she wanted to [...] |
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