And what would I want to tell you? I suppose I’d want to tell you that I’m lonely, that I’m depressed, that I’m anxious and that I’m really not well at the moment. Depression has taken hold of me and I’m struggling to keep myself connected to the real world.
Part of the survival strategy I put in place whilst I was well was that I must have multiple connections to the real world so that if I couldn’t face one of them, I had many others to deal with to keep me in touch. And it seems to have been working. I’ve only really spent a few days in my pyjamas eating crap and watching tv. I have kept up with appointments and meetings with people. I have managed to keep up the appearance that I’m ok and that I know what I’m doing. Inside, I’m not ok. And I don’t know what I’m doing.
I’m just trying to survive. And every day you don’t contact me it kills me a little more.