My blog is more anonymous than Twitter or Facebook so I thought I’d post here. I need to get it out.
This is a bad one. It had lasted overall week already and it’s getting worse. I hate myself. I despise what I have become. A fat, lazy, pathetic mess. Every time I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror I want to.punch myself in the head. And the worst thing of all is that I have totally done it all to myself.
I am surprised at the level of self loathing and pure anger I am feeling at myself. This is not normal. And my depression is just spiralling downwards in a swirl of chocolate, crap and tv. Once again I am not coping. But I need to cope as i need to both work and keep a reputation. My job goes to part time in july. I won’t be able to manage on the money. But at the moment I am incapable of getting a new job or any extra work. Catch 22. Depression amd job situation make each other worse.
I have no ideas at the moment. I’m well and truly stuck. :’(