Confidence. Or lack of it..

I know, I know.. Long time no update again!

Well, I’m back at work full time now and have been for a couple of weeks, so when I get home I just don’t want to switch on the computer. And I daren’t blog from work any more as I’m sure I’ll get found out. The last thing I need.

My boss is leaving. He has another job in the same office, but for a different company. So for the last 4 weeks I’ve been managerless really. He completely lost interest in his job as soon as he got the new one. That’s been hard, with me only just coming back to work and all, but I’ve managed! (I got the occasional ‘how are you’, and I have a review tomorrow, so that’ll do.)

So, boss is leaving. And I’ve applied for his job. I have an interview next week. There are 2 of us going for the job. The other lady works for another company in the same office. She has lots of experience with the client group, but not with this company and its policies. I have done parts of my boss’s job during my time with the company, and I’m still doing bits of it. I reckon I could do a better job than him, but then that’s not really saying much to be honest.

I sat in the office today being busy and I could see that the other lady had started on her presentation for the interview. That knocked my confidence totally, as my current boss was giving her tips and advice, and so was her current manager – who is quite senior in her current team. I feel like my current boss wants her to get the job and not me. And that has also sapped at my confidence.

I’m wondering whether I’m actually cut out to be a manager. Whether I could manage people. Whether my mental health situation and my lack of confidence makes me a bad choice for the job. Or whether I’d be brilliant and I’m doing myself an injustice because of my lack of confidence.

*sigh* I don’t know. I need to prepare a 10-minute presentation for the interview. Without Powerpoint (as there will be no computer available there.). And I have to compete against someone who I think is much more likely to get the job than me..

Here goes nothing!

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3 Responses to Confidence. Or lack of it..

  1. Spudgy says:

    Take it from someone who hates being managed…..I would work for you any day and that says somethin. Also, if this other candidate needs that much help on doing a presentation I be thinking could she really pull of an interview……get of yer arse and get on with it!!!!! :-)

  2. Sarsparilla says:

    I know you, and I htink you’d make a good manager. Confidence comes with experience. Sorry you didn’t get the job, but a life lesson is that by the sound of it, they weren’t looking for the person who does the job best, just the person who fits in best with their idea of who they are.
    Been there, got the T shirt, and it’s sadly all to common in offices everywhere. Keep plugging away, eventually, those who actually work do get recognition.

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