I’m slowly getting used to this ‘K being at work’ thing.. Though it is quite strange. We haven’t spent a night apart for a long time, and being alone again in the flat is very wierd. Every noise is a potential burglar, or squirrels / seagulls attacking the flat. Strange how you can get so used to someone’s presence, and how confident and safe it makes you feel.
At night, when she’s doing a night shift, I just feel unsafe, and I go to work feeling less confident than I usually would. I really really didn’t think it would be affecting me so much.
Aaaanyway. I haven’t reversed into anything else over the past few days. Nor have I rescued any other animals. Though I did get some doggie loooooooove while visiting an agent the other day. It was a day when K hadn’t been at home the night before, so I went and felt so self-conscious it was unreal. It’s like I was impersonating someone else. I know I can do my job, but over the past few days I’ve been wandering around in a daze and forgetting the names of nearly ALL of my colleagues!! Today, as the book club man came to collect the orders, I was wandering round the office mumbling ‘Nicky, nicky, nicky’, trying to remember who Nicky was. Eventually someone said “I’m Nicky”. (after she’d listened to me mumble her name a few times in that general direction). I’ve known this woman for a year. And spoken to her often.
Seriously. I’m losing it. I need ice cream…