It’s late. And I’m still up..And thinking. I’m thinking about..well..friends. People who, for one reason or another I’ve lost contact with. During my ‘lost years’. After university.
You see, I never wanted to be a burden on anyone. Didn’t want to saddle them with my woes. And retreated into myself.
I miss what I had with those people. And though I know I can never go back, and that people change, I often think about them.. Wonder how they are doing. But I’m scared to get in contact again.. I don’t know whether contact would even be welcomed again.. And that makes me sad. I don’t know if I have the guts to contact one of them. And the other I’ve tried to contact, but had no reply.(i guess that sends its own message) But for me, though I hate the word, I don’t feel like I’ve had ‘closure’ with these people..
Choices.. Am I strong enough to contact them and face the rejection? And what do I want from them? Maybe I just want to know that they don’t hate me. But is that just selfish?? I don’t know. *sigh*